As someone who has spent a good chunk of their life in the church, global missions is not a term that is unfamiliar to me. Every now and again, there would be someone going on missions and I would hear stories of how they were called to go on the trip. They would tell of the amazing things that God did through them and all the lives that were changed to follow Christ. At that time, I thought, “Wow, going on missions would be so cool!” I wanted to be the person to tell the amazing stories, I wanted the great call to go and do His work, just so I can say that I went on missions. I clearly did not understand the severity of going on missions, and I knew that it was more attending to my sense of pride rather than genuinely serving Him and His people.

For that reason, missions was always on the back burner for me. As I understood more and more the implications of what it means to be on mission, the urgency and the longing to go became less and less appealing. Ironic huh? I was not ready to sacrifice and I was not willing to go out of my comfort zone. It was too risky to be so vulnerable and exposed to people who may not even want to receive what I have to offer. It wasn’t until my later years of undergrad where I was seriously challenged to go to China and evangelize to students there. I was told, as Christians, we are called to sacrifice. It was time to leave my comfort zone and it would be worth it to be vulnerable. How could I argue with those reasons? And I considered it. Yet, like many others I have talked to, I gave excuses. “I’m not ready” “there are already people going” “there are others more ‘qualified’ to go”. The list can go on.

Often times our prayer and attitude towards mission looks like this, “God, if you want me to go, I will go.” I know, because that was my attitude for a period of time. But what if we change our prayers to, “Here I am Lord, send me.” Honestly, I am a little scared of how God will respond.

Recently, I’ve had a chance to do a bit of traveling. I was reminded through my travels that His presence is everywhere and God works in ways we do not understand. If we go, God promises He will be with us (Matthew 28:19-20) and He will empower us to do His work. Am I ready to go on a global mission? That is a question that still requires some prayer and discernment, but I will patiently wait on what He has in store for me, knowing that God will never bring me to something that I cannot overcome.         

            As many of you know, I went to a conference two years ago called Together for the Gospel (T4G) and the theme was Evangelism. It was the first time I ever went to a Christian conference. Likewise, it was the first time I began to understand the meaning and importance of sharing the gospel. I felt the sense of urgency. I was given the passion. I realized then and there, that it is only in truly believing in Christ’s resurrection, His power to save and the realness of judgment that I could have this sense of urgency. It is only in loving God and wanting to please and obey Him that would I have the passion to share the gospel. It is in realizing and experiencing those things that I understand my calling as a disciple of Christ. The word disciple means someone who follows another person, his way of life and to submit under that person. In order to do that my desires and vision must align with His because He is the one I am following. I am called to obey His commands, to follow His ways, to love those He loves.

Let’s go back to that sense of urgency. One of the speakers asked during his sermon “do you love your family and friends enough to tell them the truth? Do you want them to go to hell?” I know that ultimately God is the one who changes hearts. But who’s to say that if we pray hard enough he will not answer? If I don’t try at all is that fair to them? My inability and inadequacies should not be my excuses to not be the sower. As disciples we are told to not take things into our own hands and trust God with the results. Luke15:10 tells us that there is joy before the angels of God over one sinner who repents. I want to find favour in the eyes of the Lord, I want to please Him. I want to want that.

In between sessions T4G would play snippets of people sharing their testimonies. They would bring us to tears because of how powerful the stories were and how powerful God is in their stories. Testimonies once again remind me of how good God is and how he works; how he can take such a broken life and restore it. How he can be so gracious after we commit the same sins over and over again? How can he be so faithful to us even though we have forsaken him more times than we can imagine? How can he love us so much even though our love for other things frequently clouds our love for Him? I will never be able to understand, but I’m amazed by it every time. And so for that, I want to share the Gospel, for His glory and for the preservation of my faith.