Going into Urbana, I was in a bit of a dilemma. I wanted God to encounter me in a radical way that would rattle me, that would grip me, that would stir in me a renewed passion for Him, His Word, and His people. All year, God had been revealing to me how little love I really had for these three things. At the same time, I was reluctant and terrified of encountering God. I know encountering God is an undeniably good thing, but with each encounter, more and more of my life is demanded. Having left Urbana now, I still have this dilemma. I want my reflection to be earth-shaking, to be moving. But as I thought and thought, I can’t help but think how ordinary and simple my reflection is turning out to be.
                Through Urbana, God revealed to me how actively ignorant I am to brothers, sisters and neighbours who are suffering in the world. I say “actively” ignorant, because I have every power in me to love, but I choose not to care. God revealed to me that my ignorance isn’t harmless, but it’s harmful because it is an act that withholds love from God’s people. On one of the first nights of Urbana, we listened to Michelle Higgins who spoke passionately on the Black Lives Matter movement. I had heard of the movement, but never really cared because I didn’t think it related to me. I was wrong. Michelle’s talk challenged me and made me uncomfortable because she linked the BLM movement with Scripture. God’s Word tells us that all people are created in His image, and because of that, we are all dignified. And that’s what the BLM movement was fighting for: the sanctity of all life. If I choose to ignore what is happening, I am turning my back on the Gospel I believe in.
                As the conference went on, God continued to challenge my ignorance. At each worship session, we were introduced to a new culture of worship, whether it be Black Gospel music, Latino worship, Arabic worship, or Hawaiian worship ... the list goes on! At first, I was uneasy. I’m used to Redeemer’s style of worship! For example, I usually spend a lot of time reflecting on the lyrics, so when we sang Black Gospel music which relied on simple, repetitive lines, it was hard to “get into it.” Nevertheless, God led 16 000 of us at Urbana into worship with one voice. With each new day, we grew more eager to hear and learn of how our brothers and sisters from another culture express their love to God.
                If I were to find a moment where all these things accumulated and God struck me, I would have to say it would be on the last seminar day at Urbana. For the first two days, I had picked seminars that interested me or I had picked ones that I thought would help my faith grow. On the last day, I decided to stop playing it safe and pick a topic that challenged me. I went to a seminar called “A Christian Response to ISIS and Boko Haram.” The entire seminar was enlightening, empowering, and moving. What hit home for me was when we started talking about the refugee crisis. For some people, they didn’t want to let refugees into North America, because they feared terrorists would enter the country through this route. However, the speaker argued that even if we deny refugees entry, terrorist attacks will continue to happen in North America. He urged us not to let our fears dictate the call on our lives, which is to live our lives in fearless love. If we deny entry to the refugees, we are denying them love. The speaker put it in this way, “What would be the greater victory to Satan? A few more planes being hijacked and a few more bombings taking place? Or would it be a greater victory to Satan if a Christian people turned their backs and walked away from the core of the Gospel?”
                God had me floored. My ignorance had been challenged. If I’m honest about it, I’m ignorant because I’m fearful of what I have to face, and I just simply didn’t want to put in the effort to care and to love. To care and to love is exhausting and it takes a lot out of you, but we cannot use this as an excuse. That night, we were invited to learn more about the persecuted church and pray for nine countries where living as a Christian is dangerous. It may have felt weird and uncomfortable to many of us, but God gave us the courage to step forward in faith and take part in praying for the persecuted church.
                If I could sum up Urbana and what missions is, it would be that missions is about hearing someone else’s story, believing that it matters and that it’s important, stepping into it, and redeeming it. This was the common theme we saw at Urbana, from the BLM movement to the different worship styles, and from the many stories shared by missionaries every day to the persecuted church. For each of these, we were invited to listen to what their stories were, we were convicted see their worth, we were called to step into them and were led to redeem them by surrendering them to God. We can do all these things, because of Jesus Christ who first looked upon us and our story, loved us, stepped out of heaven’s realms and into the world, and redeemed it by dying on the cross for our sin.
To me, that seems like an oddly, simple call! With this understanding, missions isn’t just about going overseas to share the Gospel, it’s also about hearing my neighbour’s story and sharing the Gospel there. The key similarity is that Jesus must be the centre and focus of it all. As David Platt said in one of the night sessions, we cannot manufacture a heart for mission, without a heart for Jesus Christ. Missions must come out of an overflow of Christ’s supreme love for us. So to answer my expectation of wanting to love God, His Word and His people more when I went into Urbana: God tells me to be curious, to open myself up to the stories of people around me, to step into them, and to redeem them with the beauty and power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s going to cost me something to do that, but it is so worth it, and nothing can compare to the cost Jesus paid on the cross. “Be curious and hear their story!” It’s no earth-shaking, new truth, but it is indeed a powerful one when carried out. In the words of the Urbana media team, “when the dust settles, what story will you tell?” All glory, power, and honour be to our God. Praise the Lord!
 

​Urbana 2015 Reflection - Jacqueline
 
As I reflect on Urbana 2015, I am very thankful that so many Redeemer people attended – we were challenged in our faith, and we also walked together as brothers and sisters, wrestling with a number of issues.
 
One topic discussed was Black Lives Matter. As speakers spoke about the racial tensions and the fact that we need to advocate for each other, I was reminded of the struggles that my friends face, the incidents that happened right here in NYC, and the BLM protests on weekends. The call was for us to pray for our country and this issue.
 
Another topic was the Persecuted Church, referring to our brothers and sisters in countries where Christians are persecuted. The number one request is for prayer to keep them strong. Oftentimes, I easily ignore these issues, but now I feel convicted not to turn away, but to read or watch these stores in order to become more aware and pray for them.
 
David Platt humbled us when he spoke of not manufacturing a heart for missions but missing a heart for Jesus. He also called out that perhaps a number of leaders among us could fall into that category. He also emphasized the necessity of missions both globally and locally. This time I feel convicted to explore short term global missions, because we are all called to missions. God commanded us to go, to the ends of the earth to reach the unreached. So whether I currently feel “called” or not, I need to obey and just go. God will take care of the rest.
 
During one of the roommate huddles, one person shared that being a Christian at work requires making a daily struggle to choose the right decision over and over (e.g. think temptations, gossip, etc.). The easy way out and quitting, is not the right way. This resonated with me because it is very hard to be caring and loving at work, when everyone is trying to get ahead. Sometimes I want to quit altogether and do something else (wouldn’t that be amazing!?!), but then I am reminded that God has placed me here for a reason, and that I should stick with it and be faithful where I am. 
 
Urbana definitely challenged me, and I am excited for what God has in store for 2016.
 
 

            Urbana was an interesting experience for sure. I started off pretty excited for Urbana when Phil first introduced it to challengers because it would be a new way to see how different people and churches run their worship and service. As time went on I started losing the hype for Urbana. Realizing the cost, driving distance and time spent there made me reconsider my decision to go to Urbana. Even though I had all these things in mind I somehow felt like Urbana is where I should be at and so I stayed on the team.
            The drive to St. Louis was brutal. It took us around 16 hours to get there and we ended up arriving until about 6AM without much sleep. Thankfully, Urbana didn’t start until the night time, so it gave us a chance to catch up on some sleep and to relax before everything started.
            The week of Urbana went by pretty quickly. Every day was packed with bible study, sermons and workshops, which left barely anytime for us to relax and reflect. I went to Urbana with the hopes of encountering God and having questions answered, but I think I left with more questions than I came in with. Urbana definitely has opened my views for worship and missions. It was a very different experience to learn how to worship in different cultures including Latino, native Hawaiian and African American. We also learned to worship in different languages including Korean and Swahili. The different styles of worship put me in a place where I was not comfortable with in the beginning, but as we worshiped more, it became more natural and fitting. We also learned to embrace and live each other’s story because that is how we care and pray for one another. We explored why the Black Lives Matter campaign was so important to not just African Americans, but to everyone. It is because it matters to our brothers and sisters that we too are now called into the same story, so that we can share their hurts and joy.
            Another emphasis of Urbana was the need for people to do missions, not just locally, but globally. We got a little insight to seeing some of the countries where Christians are being persecuted including Iraq, Syria, North Korea, Yemen and others as well. Some missionaries shared their stories with us about the persecution they faced in different countries. What amazed me was that these missionaries were regular people like you and me. Some of them have the fear of insects, which made me realize that these people aren’t any more special than you and me, other than the fact that they decided to follow Christ’s calling into being a missionary and giving their life away. We got an opportunity to pray for different countries during that night and it amazed me how much missionaries value prayer. The number one thing missionaries ask for isn’t safety, security or their daily food and water, but it is prayer. That would not be the first thing that I would be asking for if I was in the middle of a country that persecuted Christians. I realized that if prayer is so important to them, it must be more important than what I think. Urbana has made me think more globally. It encouraged me to think about churches around the world and events that are happening around the world. I don’t know if it has convinced me to go on a mission trip, maybe someday. I do know however, that my way of seeing worship, missions and the global church has changed a lot. It’s made me pray more for our brothers and sisters around the world and my outlook on the importance of mission.