A glimpse of Heaven - Nelson Yu 

​After attending my first Christian conference in high school, "Teen's Conference", I thought, 'this was it, this is what Heaven must be like, hundreds of people gathered together singing praises to God!’ What a pleasurable experience that was, to have God encountered all of us those 2 days and nights. 'I must've just had a glimpse of Heaven!' I thought to myself. And that kicks off a few years of the annual TC during my high school days. From attendee, I moved up to 'Team Captain' with Phil, leading younger attendees in a series of games, bible studies and worship. Then I moved on to volunteer as 'TC REC' leaders. We were the 'older' group of leaders who ran the games and recreation to boost the attendee’s spirits during the conference. We promoted a spirit of teamwork and an environment where there's no losers, everyone is a winner. It became an annual spiritual 'high' to keep having a 'peek' of what Heaven feels like. Lots of fun and games with brothers and sisters. But then university hit, and I outgrew Teens Conference.
 
During university, I attended Korean Christian Fellowship, I saw the passion for God; not in myself, but in the brothers and sisters who attended. I was "focused" on 'school', and enjoying my freedom from my parents. Sure, I tried to lead small groups, but deep down, I knew I did it more out of duty and comparison to my fellow peers, who became leaders in the fellowship. I still believed in God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength, but I have a university degree to complete you know? I have to put in all my effort into making sure I pass all my courses before I can devote my time to God. I'll work hard to please God, keep helping out with small groups, and keep helping out at Redeemer. While I focused on passing all my courses, I see my brothers and sisters going on missions, and passing courses all the same. They were able to come back and share stories of new friends made and new purposes found. Another glimpse of Heaven through missions. But hey, I feel like I've been doing pretty good, being able to get my engineering degree, help out in my university fellowship, help out my church, and even landed a good job. 
 
But all this time I've been trying to work my way to God, to hope that one day, I will hear those treasured words "Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master" [Matthew 25:21]. I played to all my strengths, and did everything I know I'm good at. Does that mean I've been faithful over a lot? 
 
And here is the turning point... No I've trusted in my own strength, and not God. 
 
I've been trying to maintain that perfect image, the spiritual 'high' with my own strength. The fear of failing, forced me into the little box of my own strength, and never stepping out of it. No wonder when I see others step out in faith, I see a glimpse of Heaven. All I simply have to do is lift my life to God and let him deal with my fears. With my life in His hands completely, I no longer have to hide in my little box, but be able to step out of my comfort zone, and trust God. The moment you step out of that box, your strengths are no longer enough, you are vulnerable, and you will stumble. "But though he stumbles, he will not fall" [Psalm 37:24]. I start seeing my unworthiness before the Lord that I'm not all I thought I was. I've had a false sense of humility, and pride that blinded me from it. But with my life laid down before the Lord, I see the one who IS worthy! The Lion, who gave His life to the Father, to become a slain Lamb that is Christ! The only appropriate response is worship!
 
Worship, this sounds familiar. Yes, we have weekly Sunday service worship, but seeing the Lamb who is worthy, I feel like this worship is even more than that (though Sunday worship is still important!!!). Someone as glorious as the Lord deserves the praise of everyone! Animals! Rocks! Everything! A whole conference hall filled with brothers and sisters hearing the Word and singing praises to God! "And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”" [Revelation 5:13]. Yes. This was the glimpse of Heaven I had seen and remember. This is the reason why I live, why I even exist. To give up my life as a living sacrifice to God, and to worship Him who is worthy with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. And every breath I breathe out, be worship to the Lord! 
 
Blessings!
--
Nelson Yu